SOCIAL SKILLS II

II. INTRODUCING YOURSELF

1. INTRODUCING YOURSELF

Meeting people

There are several common phrases when meeting someone for the first time.

A. I'm Jake. Pleased to meet you.

B. Likewise.

A. My name's Jake. It's a pleasure to meet you. 

B. The pleasure is mine.

You might want to introduce your new acquaintance to someone you know.

Have you met Ophelia?

Let me introduce you to Bill.

To make the situation more comfortable, give some background on the person and suggest a topic that they can discuss.

Bill used to be the HR director at Dash.

Bill, tell Ophelia about what it's like to work at Dash.

Carl: Hi, my name's Carl. I'm the CEO of Dash. Pleasure to meet you .

Whitney: The pleasure is mine . I'm Whitney. I'm the president of TR Fashion.

Carl: Have you met our MD yet?

Whitney: No, not yet.

Carl: Then let me introduce you to Derek. Derek, this is Whitney, president of TR Fashion.

Derek: Nice to meet you, Whitney.

Whitney: Likewise , Derek.

Carl: Derek, tell Whitney about our newest campaign.

2. SHOWING INTEREST

Showing interest

You should show interest in the new acquaintance by asking lots of questions to keep the conversation going. Be careful, though – the questions should be general and not too personal.

What do you do?

What brings you to the party?

What do you think of the party so far?

Are you from the area?

Can you tell me more about the project you're working on?

Make general comments to show you're still interested.

It sounds like an interesting idea.


- What brings you to the party?
- I thought it would be a good place to network.

- What do you do?
- I'm a designer at an advertising agency. 

- Are you from the area?
- No, I moved here just a few months ago.

- Can you tell me more about the project you're working on?
- It's a new line of clothes aimed at teens.

- What do you think of the party so far?
- It's pretty fun, lot's of new people to meet. 

A: So, what brings you here ?

B: I mainly wanted to see my old coworkers, and also give my business card to potential clients.

A: I see. What do you do ?

B: I'm a freelance designer.

A: Oh, so you're an artist. Are you from the area ?

B: Yes, I was born and raised here. What do you think of the party so far ?

A: I'm enjoying it. Lots of familiar faces, and the food is pretty good. Can you tell me more about your job ? It sounds like an interesting profession.

3. TAKING LEAVE POLITELY

Ending a conversation

If you need to end a conversation, politely hint that you need to go.

It's getting late.

I should start heading out soon.

You can also give reasons why you need to go. They should be good and believable reasons, but you don't need to go into a lot of detail.

I want to avoid traffic on the way home.
I need to get up early tomorrow.
I have to pick up some groceries.

Say once again that it's been nice meeting them, and if necessary, arrange future contact.

I look forward to meeting again.  I'll be in touch.

CARLA: So that's why I decided to get into the business.

GEORGE: Oh, interesting. Hey, actually, I should start heading out soon . It's getting late .

CARLA: Absolutely, I understand.

GEORGE: Sorry, I just need to finish up some work  when I get home.

CARLA: It was nice meeting you .

GEORGE: Likewise. I'll be in touch .

CARLA: Sure. I look forward to meeting again.

III. SOCIALIZING AT A BUSINESS DINNER 

1. INITIATING CONVERSATION

Making conversation

Start a conversation with a stranger by introducing yourself and bringing up some topics that are easy to talk about, or that you might have in common, such as business, the stock market, hobbies and the weather.

What company are you representing?

The stock markets have been so unpredictable recently.

What do you do for fun?

Today is beautiful, isn't it?

Avoid topics that are personal or controversial, such as religion, political beliefs or marital status.

You should also recognize opportunities to provide more information. In the conversation below, the speaker answered the question, but the conversation isn't very interesting.

A. So what do you do for a living?

B. I'm a financial advisor.

In the next example, the speaker provides more information without being asked, which makes the conversation more interesting.

A. So what do you do for a living?

B. I'm a financial advisor. I used to work in education, but I changed careers two years ago.

You can also ask the question back to the speaker.

A. What's your job?
B. I'm a project manager for a pharmaceutical company. How about you?

Try to avoid complaining about things unless you're very familiar with the person. It's much more pleasant to hear positive comments when meeting new people.

A. What do you think of the chicken?

B. It's quite good. I also suggest trying the fish.

- So what do you do for a living?
- I've been working as a marketing manager for around five years now.
- Are you enjoying the dinner?
- Yeah, I especially like the fish. It's so tender.

- What do you do for fun?
- I mainly like skiing and hiking. How about you?

- The weather has been great lately. Don't you think?
- Yeah, it's usually much colder this time of year.
- What company are you representing?
- I'm with Sudo Brothers. We're a law firm based in Europe.

2. ESTABLISHING THINGS IN COMMON

Common interests

Sometimes you may wish to change the subject of the conversation.

Enough about work.Let's change the topic to hobbies.

You can make the speaker more comfortable by pointing out things you agree with or have in common.

A. I mainly go hiking in my free time.

B. Same here.

A. It's so nice to not use my phone for two days.

B. I feel the same way.

A. I think cellphones have forced us to work longer than we did before.

B. You took the words right out of my mouth.

A: Anyway, enough about business. Let's change the topic to something more relaxing. What do you do when you're not at work?

B: I like to make clothes. It's nice to work with my hands instead of staring at a computer screen.

A: I feel the same way . That's why I'm interested in woodwork. I make my own furniture. It's so rewarding to create something from nothing. At the end of it, that thing only exists because I designed it and constructed it.

B: You took the words right out of my mouth. I feel so proud after I finish a big project.

A: Same here .

3. AGREEING ON COMMON GOALS

Moving forward

Take the next step forward in the business relationship by agreeing on the goals you have in common.

I'm glad you said that.

I think you're right. I think you might be onto something. Propose future communication with the person and share your contact details. I'd like to follow up on this later. We should continue this discussion.

I look forward to meeting you next week.

A: It's going to be an exciting year for us. Our research team has come up with some efficient ways to use existing mobile apps to speed up distribution and delivery.

B: One branch of my company actually makes maps for the mobile industry. I wonder if there's some way we could work together.

A: I think you might be onto something . If we can work together in an official capacity and share knowledge, it could benefit both our companies. 

B: I'm glad you said that . I'd like to follow up on this next week, if you have time.

A: Sure. Do you have a card ?

B: Of course. Here you are. I look forward to meeting you again .

IV. POLITELY REFUSING A CLIENT'S REQUEST

1. CALMING THE CLIENT

Calming the client down

When a client is upset, remain calm and try to clarify the problem and their expectations.

Tell me what the problem is.

Is there anything I can offer you? Let's see if we can reach some understanding. Let's see if we can find some way of coming to terms here. What can I do for you? What exactly is it that you want? Tell me exactly what the problem is. I see. What can I do for you?

2. EXPLAINING COMPANY POLICY

Company policy

Sometimes you'll need to explain how your company policy prevents you from meeting a client's demands. Do so firmly and politely, clearly outlining why you're unable to help.

Let me explain our company policy to you.

We had to take the price increases into account.

We have had to make it our policy to have a minimum quantity for delivery.

It's helpful to show the client what you can offer.

We guarantee that we always deliver on time. Finally, you can use this phrase to invite your client to see things from your perspective. I hope you can appreciate our point of view on the matter. We've had to make it our policy to only accept orders before 3 p.m.  I hope you can appreciate our point of view on the issue.  We had to take the risen fuel prices into account.  Our company guarantees that we deliver on time.  CLIENT: I'm just a bit unhappy with the client support that's been provided so far. It feels like the customer service staff just isn't interested in providing quality service. We wait on the line for hours before we can speak to a human. Can't we get a dedicated line exclusively for our company? REPRESENTATIVE: I understand your concern, but we have to take the cost of staff into account . It's a nice idea, but we'd need to hire a new department. We guarantee that we always stay with the client until the issue is resolved, but sometimes there isn't enough staff to fix the problem quickly. Some companies do get priority support, but we have had to make it our policy to provide this service only to clients that pay a premium for it. I hope you can understand our point of view on the matter.

3. POLITELY REFUSING THE REQUEST

Refusing a request

In cases where you have no choice but to refuse a request, do so politely and firmly.

I'm afraid I have to turn down your request.

This is company policy and I am simply not at liberty to alter it.

Acknowledge the client's view to show understanding when they complain.

I can appreciate that. You can ask the client to see things from your point of view. I hope you can understand our position. I hope you can see the company's point of view. Try to see the situation from our perspective. Let me explain our company's policy to you. I can understand that. However, for the reasons I have stated, I'm afraid I have to turn down your request. I sincerely hope you can understand my position.