CORRESPONDENCE

15ADV. UNIT 2. COMMUNICATION 

1. DEFUSING CONFLICT 

1) Use of sarcasm 

Sarcasm is when you say one thing but you mean the opposite. 

Did I mention Tom's on vacation next week?
Tom on vacation again? What a surprise!

Oh come on, he's not that bad.
No, of course not, he's a perfect employee!

Something is very expensive: Great. What a bargain! 
You're in a terrible traffic jam: wow, we're flying along day! 
The air in the room is very smoky from cigarettes: The air is so fresh! I feel as if I'm in the mountains!  
Your colleague is speaking very loudly in a meeting: What? I can't quite hear you. 
You have a bad meal at a business dinner: It was delicious! I only felt sick for an hour or two. 
You've had to work three weekends in a row: It's OK! I don't like having fun with my family anyway. 

2) Softening a statement 

Softening

When someone is using sarcasm to express their annoyance or anger, you can try to defuse their anger by responding with softened statements.

Using -ish
A company trip? Are they sure two weeks is long enough?
Well, it is a longish trip, but it's to a new branch.

Well, it is a longish trip, but it's a new branch, and there's quite a lot to do.

The meeting will be longish, but we need to go.

Softening adjectives

- to use kind of and sort of with an adjective

I hope the budget includes French perfume for their wives!
 It is kind of high, but we can spend less on training.

I guess it is kind of high, but the plan is to spend less on the next round of training.

Yes, it was sort of your mistake. 

The price is kind of high, but it's good quality.

Softening nouns

Use expressions with such and so, like there's not such a and there are not so many to soften nouns. So everyone loses out on training because of these guys? Well, there's not such a great need for training right now. Well, there's not such a great need for training right now, after everything we covered last quarter. There are not so many issues to discuss.  There's not such a need right now.  Softening verbs Use expressions with not exactly and not quite, like it's not exactly what you and it's not quite what you to soften verbs. We never agreed to use so much of the budget for this trip.I can see that this isn't quite what you expected. I can see that this isn't quite what you expected It's not exactly what she said. It's not quite what you think.

Continuous tenses

In general, using continuous rather than simple tenses softens statements. I was thinking I could talk to the guys and see if we can get the trip down to one week. I was thinking I could talk to the guys and see if we can get the trip down to one week. I was thinking you could talk to them directly.

2. RUNNING A WORKSHOP

1) Communication strategies 

Checking comprehension

The best way to check that someone has understood is to ask them to repeat what you said in their own words. 

Can you explain that back to me?’ 
‘So now I’ve explained, you show me what to do.’

Please repeat to me what you expect to do.
What should you do after that.
Do you have any questions about your tasks?
Do you think you can follow my instructions? 


Use open and closed questions when appropriate
Asking an open question encourages a detailed answer.
Are you all ready to begin? - closed Q
Dave, can you explain to the group how you dealt with a similar problem last week? - open Q

Depersonalizing
Remember that we all need to be in the office by 8.30 every morning. 
Let's all take a break. 

Involving the audience
If your audience doesn't appear to be responding, you should ask a question to involve them. 

Keep your audience focused on your message by maintaining eye contact.

Demonstrating can be more effective than talking. 
Talking is often a more efficient way to communicate than email. 
Make sure you spell people's names correctly in emails. 
Make sure you are not too formal with people you know well.   

2) Referencing 

Connecting parts of a workshop Referring back As you mentioned in the last session, our team will be creating a new accounting spreadsheet. As you mentioned earlier, it's a company project. If you recall, this is part of the larger company project. If you recall, there are six different teams. This comes back to what we were saying earlier – for the coming project, we'll need to work with the resources we have right now. This comes back to what we were discussing earlier. I think this connects with what Jake was saying about resources. Referring forward As far as coordinating with other teams, we'll come to that in the next phase. We'll come to that in the next project phase. We'll touch on that later.

3. LISTENING ACTIVELY 

1) Processing spoken English

Fragmented spoken English

Spoken English needs to be composed quickly, so it tends to be fragmented, with a rough flow.

Headers and tails

A header is when we put information at the beginning of what we say. This helps listeners immediately understand what the topic is. It is usually followed by a pronoun which refers back to it. So, yeah, the weather, while we were there, you know, at the hotel, I have to say, it wasn't great all the time, yeah, not great really in the end. Tails give information at the end of what we say when the beginning of a statement might not be clear. In the sentence below, the speaker is unsure at the end of her statement that the pronoun they was clear, so she adds the tail, those meetings. They were really long and kind of, well, everybody agreed, told me, you know, kind of boring, all those meetings. Correction and reiteration Speakers will often reiterate what they are saying or correct themselves mid-speech. In the next sentence, notice that the speaker repeats was okay and also adds negative information about the day to correct the overly positive information at the beginning. It was okay, the day was okay, but, I mean, honestly, I didn't think it'd seem so long. Speakers will also adjust or revise their meanings in the middle of statements by inserting adverbs. What he said, I mean, I don't believe him totally, but if you look, honestly the facts suggest that he might be right, in what he said.

2) Co-constructing as a listener 

Facilitating conversation flow

Part of being a good, active listener is facilitating the flow of what the other person is saying. One way to do that is by repeating parts of what the other person said to show interest and understanding. I was at the party, and my brother was there. Your brother, Paul, right ... Oh, no! You know the huge house my boss has. The one with the fantastic swimming pool?  I have to give that presentation at work tomorrow.  Yeah, the presentation on the new software.  Another way to encourage and help a speaker and to show interest and understanding is by adding details or rephrasing what was said.  Notice how the listener below expands on the meaning of criticizing: And you know how he's always criticizing me. Always telling you what you should and shouldn't do. I do my best to be understanding and sympathetic to my colleagues. Yes, you treat everyone with respect.  Another way to facilitate flow is to finish other people's ideas.  This can show that you are closely following what they're saying.  He told me I looked cheap. I was so mad that I, I … You yelled at him? I'm so exited about my vacation in Hawaii. I'm going to sleep late every day, eat fresh fruit and.. Swim, swim, swim!     You can use the word which to comment on something a speaker said: So he tells me that the skirt I'm wearing is too short. Which is none of his business, is it? They had me worked almost sixty hours last week. Which is just crazy! I don't know how you do it.  I'm supposed to have the party in my little apartment. Which doesn't make any sense at all.

4. TALKING ABOUT COMMUNICATION

1) Body language 

walking arm in arm
kiss on the cheek
hug a close friend
pat on the back
shake hands

My father is always patting me on the back.
While in Japan, I tried to bow when I met people.
We're old friends, so we always hug when we meet.
The two men were clasping each other's arm.
The mother and her young son were holding hands.
Shaking hands is pretty standard in business.
Many French people like to kiss on the cheek.

In the US, we hug or hold hands with people we are close to. 
Shaking hands is the norm in business. Physical contact can also depend on social dominance. For example, your boss might pat you on the back.This is not uncommon, but it can still make some people feel uncomfortable. You would probably not pat your boss on the back.

The people in the Middle East, Latin America and southern Europe sometimes have more physical contact during normal conversations. Kissing on the cheek is a common greeting. In Spain, men might clasp each other's arm or shoulder in a conversation. In northern Europe, people are more reserved about touching people they are not close to. The Japanese are also more reserved. Traditionally, they greeted each other with a bow, not a kiss or handshake, although these days, handshakes are completely normal in business, especially when dealing with non-Japanese people.

People often bow here when they meet.
Sometimes my boss pats me on the back.
Many people here like to kiss on the cheek.


2) Relative clauses 

Relative pronouns in spoken English

In spoken English, we sometimes use relative pronouns like that and who a little differently. For example, we often use that instead of the other relative pronouns. He's the guy that's always patting people on the back. And remember, which is often used to add a comment . The culture is quite different where our new branch office is located.  Which is really important to understand, isn't it? Reducing relative clauses In spoken English, we often change the relative clause into an adjective phrase to make it shorter. A phrase like this has no subject or verb. There are two ways you can do this. First, if the relative clause has the verb be, both the relative pronoun and the verb can be removed. She's the woman who is in charge of marketing. She's the woman in charge of marketing. Second, if the relative clause has a verb other than be, you can often reduce it by dropping the relative pronoun and changing the verb to its -ing form. Anyone who is planning to attend the meeting should come prepared. Anyone planning to attend the meeting should come prepared. A: So I just want to talk to you about our visit to the new branch office. The country we're visiting is culturally very different. B: Which is important for me to understand, isn't it? A: Very. One thing I learned the hard way is not to wave at people. B: Why's that? Seems like something pretty harmless. A: I know, but people find it offensive. I learned that from Phillippe. He's the guy that's always driving me around. B: Oh, so better not to make too many gestures at all. Better safe than sorry. A: Exactly! Once we're there, he can tell you a lot more. B: I'll need someone familiar with the culture. A: That's right. I'm still learning myself, but I've been there already. B: Which is why I'm sticking close to you!

He's the man leading the project.
Give me a list of everyone coming to the offsite.
Do you know the woman sitting over there?

I'll need someone familiar with the culture.
Seems like something pretty harmless.
He's the manager married to the diplomat.
He's the guy always driving me around.



3) 'Could' phrases

Different forms of 'could'

Use the phrase could be considered + adjective to give polite advice to someone. Try not to point. That could be considered impolite. Could be considered can also be followed by to be + adjective. Try not to point. That could be considered to be impolite. You can also use could be seen as and could be regarded as + adjective to give polite advice. Be careful about touching. That could be seen as inappropriate. That could be seen as being inappropriate. Be careful about waving. That could be regarded as rude. That could be regarded as being rude. Could phrases with as can also be followed by being + adjective. Be careful about touching. That could be seen as being inappropriate.

Be careful about waving. That could be regarded as being rude.