ADV. 15. DISCUSSING DIFFICULT ISSUES

1. DISAGREEING WITHOUT FALLING OUT

1) INFERRING RELATIONSHIPS AND ATTITUDES 

Identifying relationships

Understanding the relationship between speakers helps you understand the tone they use when speaking to each other, and the tone you should use when speaking to them. In the following example, the speakers are cordial, as they have a business relationship that they hope to continue. I really appreciate the hard work that all of you at Blue Sky Inc. did on this project. Listening for opinions To understand people's opinions, look for expressions that introduce opinions—for example, I can't help but think that. In sophisticated discussions between business professionals, the language will often be indirect, so you will need to listen carefully. I can't help but think that closing that factory will have a terrible effect here. Listening for attitudes Many discussions will start with a discussion of a specific incident — for example, a company closing a factory — and then move on to more general issues and positions. To be fair, every company has to consider the bottom line. I hope you don't mind my saying this, but companies are putting profit ahead of people. Tone and mood You can tell when the mood of a conversation is changing by listening for tone, volume and the use of words that could be considered too direct. Notice here that, even though the speakers have a business relationship, what this person says is very strong, and he perhaps needs to calm down. If outsourcing can make your company more money, you'd be a fool not to do it.

2) MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS WHILE DISAGREEING 

Introducing points in a discussion

It is important to keep in mind the emotional weight of what you say. Notice that the strategy of the people speaking here is to state their opinions somewhat indirectly. Their actual opinion comes in a second clause or sentence. I hope you don't mind my saying this, but it seems to me that outsourcing is hurting us. Look at it from this angle. If the factory closes, everyone in this town loses. Be careful using the following expression, as it is quite strong. Let's get one thing straight! Companies have to make a profit. Contradicting It is especially important to be aware of your opinion's emotional force when you contradict what someone has said. With all of these introductory phrases, a raised voice amplifies the emotion, but spoken calmly, they convey an attitude of reasonableness. To be fair, we have to take into consideration the stockholders. Although I sympathize with your position, I worry about the local economy. I'm sorry, but I can't agree. I feel that companies have a moral obligation to us. Backtracking In discussions with people you do business with, it's important to maintain good relations. If you realize you've stated a point too forcefully and are worried that important relationships could be damaged, you should backtrack or retract some of what you said. Apologies for getting a little carried away. I didn't mean to make that point quite so forcefully. Distancing Another way to deal with a discussion that has become too heated is to distance yourself. You can do that by using a double negative, as in this sentence: I don't disagree that companies need profits, but I still worry about losing jobs. You can also reduce the emotion in a discussion by using the word do to emphasize that you are conceding a point. You do make a convincing argument, but I still want to protect workers.

3) MEDIATING

Acknowledging complexity

In complex discussions, there is always the danger that participants will become overly emotional. You may find yourself in the position of being a mediator, someone who tries to keep the discussion civil. There are several strategies for doing this.

If the topic being discussed is extremely intricate, it sometimes helps to point this out to people taking extreme positions.

It's a tricky topic.
It's a complex and emotive subject.
There's no simple solution.

Seeing both sides

People who have taken a strong position on an issue may try to persuade you to agree with them. A subtle strategy for dissuading them is to acknowledge that both sides of the argument have some merits.  I can see both sides of the argument. There are pros and cons to both positions. Encouraging agreement In heated discussions, participants don't always realize that they don't disagree as much as they think. In this case, you can point out that there is some common ground. It seems to me that you have more in common than you think. I'm sure we can find some common ground.

2. DECIDING ON THE RIGHT COURSE OF ACTION 

1) NOUNS WITH AND WITHOUT ARTICLES 

Abstract nouns with no articles

With abstract nouns, we often don't use an article like the, an or a. In this example, the woman is talking generally about her hiring responsibility, not about a particular situation: I want more responsibility in my job. Abstract nouns with a definite article But when we're talking about a specific abstract concept, we do use the article: I don't want the responsibility for hiring the new accountant. Getting into ethics. Partly the ethics.  The responsibility for making the decision. Responsibility for hiring.  Tremendous experience. If I hired an unqualified friend, the guilt from it would be tremendous! I want more responsibility in my job. I think about ethics a lot. The experience of living in China was important for my development.

2) PROBLEM-ANALYSIS-SOLUTION

Problem-solving discussions

When people come to you for advice on how to deal with a problem, there is a natural progression you can steer them through to reach a resolution. Getting them to identify the problem is the natural first step. I have a very difficult hiring decision to make. There are two candidates. A common next stage is to clarify the issue by gathering all of the details of the problem. Both candidates have excellent experience and education, but Nancy is a friend of my family. You do not want to jump quickly to a conclusion, but it is helpful to identify basic principles as tentative advice.

I know you well enough to understand that you want to do what's ethical.

Make sure that you take some time to explore the issues involved and the possible outcomes.

So are you worried that you'll anger Nancy if you don't hire her?
Imagine for a moment that she wasn't your friend. What would you do then?

If you have helped your friend identify and discuss the fundamental issues, a resolution may emerge naturally.

I need to tell Nancy that the other candidate is more qualified, so I'm hiring him. 3) HYPOTHETICAL SITUATIONS Conditionals for speculating When we are discussing hypothetical situations or speculating about the future, conditionals can be extremely useful, especially unreal conditionals, which use forms that look like the past tense. Notice the difference between these two sentences. The first sentence with will is less hypothetical. If you buy the answers to the test, you will hate yourself afterward. If you bought the answers to the test, you would hate yourself afterward. Here are several useful expressions for talking about hypothetical situations. Notice that they are also followed by past-tense forms.

What if you just studied hard for the exam? Would you get a good grade?
Let's say that you cheated on the test and got caught. What would happen then?
Imagine for a minute that you didn't cheat. How would you do?
Pretend for a moment that you did buy the test answers. How would you feel?

If I don't cheat, other students will do better.
If I didn't cheat, other students would do better.
Pretend for a minute no one buys the questions. 
How would you feel if you cheated?
Let's say you just studied hard. 
Imagine for a minute that you didn't buy the test. 

3. RESOLVING A PERSONAL DILEMMA 

1) IDIOMS FOR PERSONAL DILEMMAS

Positive

light at the end of the tunnel 

get the best of both worlds

always land on your feet

in a win-win situation 

Negative

backed into a corner 

the lessor of two evils

in a no-win situation

stuck between a rock and a hard place 

I don't know what to do. I'm of two minds.
Which is the lesser of two evils? Work late and be tired or not and get fired?

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I'm in a no-win situation. I hate my job, but I can't quit.

Sometimes there's nothing I can do. I feel backed into a corner.

2) HYPOTHETICALS IN SPOKEN ENGLISH

Ellision

When we're talking hypothetically or speculating, we often shorten our sentences, knowing that our listeners will fill in the missing words. Notice the deleted words in parentheses in the sentences below. (If you) Go to Spain, maybe (you'll) lose Jenny. (If you) Stay here, (you'll) be bored and unsuccessful. (If you) Say nothing, (there's) no chance she'll go, but (if you) talk to her about this, she might (go)! Substitution Another way to shorten a spoken speculative sentence is to use a word like that for a longer idea. In the sentence below, that refers to taking the job in Barcelona. If I did that, I'd be in Barcelona, which I love, but alone. If you did that, you'd learn a lot. Say nothing, you won't get a raise. But if you ask your boss, you might.  Go overseas, maybe get a better job.  3) WEIGHING UP COURSES OF ACTION

Dealing with misunderstanding

After analyzing a problem, discussions move into the phase of deciding on a course of action. Even at this relatively late stage, you may discover that people have different perspectives on the problem or have made errors. You need to deal with these directly, politely pointing out mistakes or different points of view. You may have misconstrued things. You may have misconstrued it all. We seem to be looking at the same problem from different directions. Deciding on a course of action It is sometimes helpful to push people to objectively look at the data and then use that data to identify the available options.

Let's look at the facts. Let's look at what's really going on here. It seems to me that we have three options. There may be a rational explanation. If you don't get involved, you won't get hurt.

After the discussion is finished, be sure to confirm with everyone that you actually have reached agreement on a course of action. So, let's do that. Are we all agreed on this decision? It's a no-win situation. It's the lesser of two evils.

4. SUGGESTING A THIRD WAY 

1) PROBLEM-SOLUTION STRUCTURES

a) Identify the problem.
b) Give details about the problem, like its cause and effects.
c) List possible solutions.
d) Analyze the possible solutions.
e) Choose the best solution, and explain why it's the best.

Open letter from Mayor Jane Wycliff

Dear citizens of Springdale:

As most of you are aware, the discussions about what to do with the Edwards Building have been dragging on for two years. I am writing this letter to inform everyone that we have finally reached a resolution to this thorny issue.

Background

For those of you who have not been involved in the discussion, the Edwards Building is the four-story brick building on the north side of Town Square. It is considered a historic building by the National Register of Landmarks, as it was built in 1856 under the supervision of the famous architect Francis Beverly Smyth.

Our discussions

First, everyone agreed that we had to do something because the Edwards Building has become an eyesore. It has become a target for vandalism and juvenile delinquency. Because of its heritage, demolishing the building was out of the question. We knew early on that we had to find a way to finance renovation, a major challenge. Our city engineer, Howard Jackson, has certified that the basic structure of the building is sound. The interior, except for the lobby, with its marvelous murals, would need to be gutted, but the exterior, including the windows, would remain, for the most part, unchanged. After soliciting several bids from local construction firms, we believe that $2 million would cover all of the costs. After renovation, we would have a building to be proud of.

The money

For a small town like Springdale, $2 million is a tremendous amount of money, and our need for financing became our major hurdle to overcome. Martina Webber from the Springdale National Bank informed us early on that her bank would be willing to provide a loan for up to half of the cost if we could find tenants to fill the building after renovation was finished.

Springdale's only advantage in this quest for cash was our proximity to Centerville, a booming metropolis only 20 kilometers away. We began canvassing nonprofit organizations that were being driven out of Centerville by the skyrocketing rents. We finally found success with the Pipkin Charitable Trust, which has agreed to move their entire operation to Springdale after the renovation is finished. They will take over the entire first two floors and pay $20,000 a month for the lease. To seal this deal, we need to move quickly. The city treasurer, Marlene Dietenkorn, and Martina Webber, are in the process of arranging the $1 million loan, enough to pay for the renovation of the first two floors. The City of Springdale will be issuing municipal bonds to cover the rest of the cost.

The future

We did not stop with the Pipkin Trust. We are continuing to pursue other potential tenants, and are close to signing deals with two of them.

We will keep you posted on all developments regarding this project, and we hope to have more good news to share with you very soon.

Mayor Jane Wycliff

2) ANALYZING PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS

Sara,

I just received yet another notice that our rent is going to be increased, this time by 25%. We'll be paying $4,500 a month! Look, we've been discussing this for months. I know that you don't like the options. You always say that we're just being asked to choose the lesser of two evils, but we DO have to choose something. Here are the two options that we've discussed. Then I'm going to add a third option that just popped up.

First, we could do nothing. The big disadvantage is that our rent and utilities expenses would totally eat into the money that we have for our basic work, fighting for equality of opportunity in this area. The pro for this option is that we all love this area. It has excellent public transportation, great places to eat, and it's close to where everyone lives.

Our second choice is to move to the warehouse district in South Centerville and rent a really cheap space for as low as $1,000 per month. The advantage would be big savings that could go into our charitable work and to help our team members. You know the cons better than I do because you used to work in a warehouse down there. It's hard to get to because there's only one bus line, and some of our team members don't have cars. In addition, there are no places to eat there except one so-so burger restaurant. Most people would want to bring their own lunches. The buildings that I've looked at down there are ugly!

That brings me to a third option that we haven't discussed. Some people from Springdale approached me yesterday with a proposal that may turn out to be a nice compromise, moving our whole office to a historic Springdale building that's being completely renovated. I drove the 20 kilometers over there yesterday and was very impressed. The building's located right in their town square, which if you've ever been there, you'd have to say that it's quaint, with little boutiques and really good, cheap restaurants. Now for the details. They will sign a five-year lease with us, $2,000 a month, guaranteeing no rent increases during that time. They will help us move! I couldn't believe that. Now I know what you're thinking. Big downside is the distance, but honestly, if we commit to five years in Springdale, I would move there and I think that a lot of our staffers would also. Otherwise, they could take the bus from Centerville, which is 45 minutes, but goes right to the town square. Not great, but doable. Also, after the excitement of Centerville, Springdale is a little tame. No symphony or performing arts hall. Honestly, though, how often have any of us have gone to the symphony here?

So, please think about this so that we can discuss it on Monday. We have to make a decision fast.

Thanks!

Nate

That brings me to a third option. Some people from Springdale approached me yesterday with a proposal that may turn out to bea nice compromise , moving our whole office to a historic Springdale building that's being completely renovated. The building's located right in their town square, which if you've ever been there, you'd have to say that it's quaint, with little boutiques and really good, cheap restaurants. Nowfor the details . They will sign a five-year lease with us, $2,000 a month, guaranteeing no rent increases during that time. And they'll help us move! Now I know what you're thinking. Big downside is the distance, but honestly, if we commit to five years in Springdale, I would move there and I think that a lot of our staffers would also. Otherwise, they could take the bus from Centerville, which is 45 minutes, but goes right to the town square. Not great, but doable

One upside is that the rent would be reasonable.
I'm in favor of moving to the west side.
We need to consider a third option.
A disadvantage is it's far from downtown.
A downside is the lack of public transportation.
I have a proposal that's a good compromise.
The landlord is OK with long-term leases.